Well, Mom, I'm a Professional Poker Player
By Daniel Negreanu
 

It didn't take me too long in my poker career to realize that it was something I loved and could make a living doing. Now, explaining that to my mother and family was another story. You see, my mother had always envisioned me to be an actor, lawyer, or some other "respectable" professional: Never in her wildest dreams did she think her youngest son would be a "gambling bum."

Of course, I tried to explain to her that I wasn't a gambler until I was blue in the face. She didn't play poker, so it was difficult for her to understand the difference. All she really knew was that I could lose everything. Of course, everything was a grand total of $1,300 at the time, which I'd earned playing poker!

I mean, I tried everything. I even showed her my extensive record book with all my poker statistics. Let me tell you, this was no ordinary record book. I had things broken down to days, locations, hourly rate, game, daily notes and grades, and so on. I could tell you my hourly rate at a specific location, on Mondays, after 6 p.m., in sessions of more than six hours! Not only that, I could tell you how I played, and my overall mood that day! I know, that's pretty anal.

The whole point of it was to show my mother that I was taking this seriously. I wasn't going to be a bum, I was going to treat poker as a science. All of this went in one ear and out the other, as expected. "I don't care, you go to school!" That was a more than reasonable response, really.

Eventually, she "tolerated" the idea of my playing poker for a living, but it still wasn't her first choice for me. Whenever I'd go broke as a teenager, it destroyed her. She would urge me to stop and have a normal life, but I was pretty determined to get it right.

Yet, I hated having my mother go through the same emotional swings I had to endure; she simply couldn't handle it. Every night when I got home, her first question was, "How did you do?" For a while, I told her the truth. If I lost $1,000, I'd tell her, or if I'd won $1,500, I'd also tell her.

This just didn't work, though. When I won, everything was great — she was really happy and in a great mood. When I lost, not only did I have to deal with losing, I had to deal with my mother automatically becoming depressed, which in turn made me depressed.

So, I thought of a solution to the problem. No longer would my mother have to ride the roller coaster of a professional poker player. From then on, I won every day! Well, almost every day. When she'd ask me that same old question, I had a new number prepared for her. If I won $1,000, I'd tell her $200. That way, she'd still be happy, yet not hysterically happy. If I lost $1,000, I'd tell her I "broke even" or won only $60 or so.

So, if I won $1,200 one day and lost $800 the next, all she needed to know was that I won $200 each day. After all, the amount was the same, but without the "scary" fluctuation. Of course, she wouldn't believe that I never lost, so once in a while I'd tell her that I had a bad, horribly unlucky day — and lost $500.

There is no easy way to tell your family that you are going to play poker for a living, but there are some things that you can do to put poker in a better light. You can't go wrong with World Series of Poker videos or anything similar. That way, poker looks a little more like a sport than it does a casino game such as blackjack or craps. Anything you can do to separate poker from table games in their minds is a good thing.

Depending on where you play and your typical game composition, let them come to see you in action. My girlfriend didn't even believe that I was a good poker player until she was caught up in the excitement of the final table at the World Poker Challenge in Reno! We'd been together for four months, and that was the first time she was actually excited about my poker career.

Wherever you play, try to let those close to you see the "lighter side" of poker. Take them to a friendly game that you play in. Beware of those games where people are throwing cards and yelling at the dealers. Introduce them to some other successful poker-playing friends of yours. Show them that playing poker for a living isn't alien — just a little unconventional.

These days, my mother is finally proud of my poker career, although I'm sure the main reason is because of the success I've had. Nonetheless, she came around, as will most people in due time. Don't push them. You are a poker player, so it all makes sense to you, but what if I tried to explain quantum physics to you? It might take you a while to understand, right? Give your friends and family time to respect what you do; don't expect it right away.

The way poker is becoming more readily accepted in mainstream society these days, hopefully this won't be a problem in the future. For now, though, do your part. Show poker's happy face, and let's try to weed out the negatives.

Daniel is considered to be one of the top tournament players in the world, who also excels in cash games. He has won more tournaments than any other player in the circuit since 1997 with 25 first place finishes.
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